


Sterek/25 - Hello

by FiccinDylan



Series: Sterek/25 [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Emissary in Training Stiles Stilinski, Feels, Inspired by Music, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Pining, adele - 25, sterek, ugly crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5272001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas day is upon them signifying Derek's birthday and the beginning of his journey to become Alpha of the prosperous and sprawling Hale Pack.  </p><p>His entire future in front of him, and nearly buried in birthday cards, gifts and well wishes, he receives a magic laced letter from Stiles.  </p><p> </p><p>  <i>"Hello, It’s me…"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From the Other Side

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series of ficlets I'll be doing for each song on Adele's 25. 
> 
> Adele knows my soul and Sterek owns it. If I'm going to die from ~feels, I'm taking you with me. 
> 
> Enjoy.

**

**

 

* * *

 

**_(From the Other Side)_ **

“Derek! You’ve got a letter, sweetie!” Derek Hale sips his coffee and looks at the pile he already has in front of him. It’s his birthday and the letters, gifts and well wishes have been pouring in. He wonders what’s so different about this one that his mother didn’t just add it to the pile.

“It came certified, had to sign and everything.” Talia says as if reading her eldest son’s mind. She walks into the kitchen and places the envelope in front of Derek. “Also, it seems like there’s a bit of magic on it, it’s practically buzzing.”

Magic? Stiles. Derek smiles and takes another sip before considering the envelope. It’s addressed to Alpha D.S. Hale in fancy scribe. Derek chuckles to himself. Definitely Stiles.

He takes only the letter and heads towards the study so he can read it in private. It’d been about a week since he’d seen the boy though he knew Stiles was practicing his emissariship with Deaton. He wondered what kind of shenanigans Stiles had gotten into as he cracked the seal and took out the parchment inside.

 

> _Hello, It’s me…_

Derek’s eyebrows knit together just at the opening. There were no jovial little drawings of dinosaur eyes or happy faces all over the place. In fact, just beyond the magic, Derek could detect the faint scent of salt and steel. It was a combination that signified that whatever was happening was hard, but necessary. What would Stiles be writing him that’s hard, but necessary?

 

> _Has your birthday passed? Knowing my luck and timing it’s probably the same day you receive this, but who knows? Who can really predict our futures? If it has passed or is today then I wish you the happiest of birthdays. You’re 25 now. Teetering on the edges of being an old adolescent and a full fledged adult. You’ll be Alpha soon and you’ll excel, I just know it._
> 
> _Somehow that makes this letter both easier and harder._

Derek sets the letter in his lap, contemplating the tear he just added to the already stained paper. He leans his head back and takes a big breath before reaching into his pocket for his phone. No missed calls out of the ordinary; people calling to wish him Happy Birthday, no rogue texts. He presses 2 on his speed dial and waits.

The caller he’s trying to reach is currently out of the area and their voicemail is full. He sends a text and receives a notice that texting has been disabled from this line. He calls Scott.

“Hey current alpha, soon to be future Alpha of the _entire_ and sprawling Hale Pack. I can’t wait to take you out tonight, gotta get all the personal time with my bro before you get all busy handling the affairs of half the greater Pacific Northwest!! Happy Birthday!” Scott says cheerily over the phone. Scott was Derek’s closest beta and Stiles’ best friend. If anyone knew what was going on, it’d be him.

“Scott, where’s Stiles?” He hears Scott pouring himself coffee and shrugging lightly.

“I don’t know, dude. Last I heard he was spending the week with Deaton, said he didn’t want to be disturbed. I guess he’s on some sort of retreat? His phone keeps sending back weird errors. Hey, I’ve got a letter from him, but I haven’t opened it yet. But Stiles wouldn’t miss your birthday so I’m sure he’ll turn up.”

Derek stills, but tries his best to keep an air of strength for his beta. “Don’t open it until I tell you, okay?”

“What, the letter? Okay, whatever you say, alpha. Hey, is everything okay? Stiles isn’t in trouble is he?” Scott asks, concern catching in his throat. Derek clears his and shakes his head minutely.

“No, I don’t- give me about a half hour and I’ll call you back, okay?”

“Derek, you’d tell me if something is wrong, right? You sound really weird and-”

“Scott, _please_ ,” Derek rubs his forehead which has broken into a sweat. He hopes that Scott can’t detect the strain in his voice. “Just get Boyd, Erica and Isaac together and go to the cabin. Call the rest of the pack and I’ll be there shortly.”

“O…. _kay_ , Derek. Umm.. are you sure you don’t need anything?” Scott asks timidly, completely disbelieving Derek’s confidences.

“Just that.” Derek says resolutely. He’s scared if he says more his voice will catch.

“Alright, dude. I’ll see you in about a half hour?”

“Yeah, Scott. Bye.”

 

> _So as you know, Der, I’ve been practicing magic under Deaton. Little things at first, runes, healing serums and protection spells. Then one day I lost a textbook. Well, I didn’t lose it exactly, I kind of magicked it somewhere and couldn’t figure out how to get it back. I was practicing teleportation and decided to try with something that didn’t have guts and a soul._
> 
> _Which was a good idea until I realized it was one of my school textbooks and it was $400 fucking dollars! Who the fuck even does that? Someone should look into the way students are overcharged for books these days. Besides, with the advent of technology, how is everything not pdf format?_
> 
> _But I digress._
> 
> _Sorry, I guess I’m just nervous. There’s a lot to tell, so please bear with me._

Derek knows it’s futile to try and predict Stiles’ letter, but he does anyway, folding over the bottom so he can’t see the rest, wondering where this could possibly be going and if he was going to survive it.

He and Stiles have always had a slight push and pull, but have worked together amicably. Stiles was a human, sure, but after Scott requested and received the bite, Stiles was right there learning everything he could to help him.

His tenacity and bravery and insistence endeared Derek to him. They’ve flirted and there were a couple of heated kisses in the midst of a territory dispute, but nothing was official. Derek wanted to wait until his birthday when it would be announced that Derek would be the next Hale Alpha, and he could announce Stiles as his mate.

But who can really predict our futures?

 

> _Phew, so here goes: I created a location spell for the book. It was $400 and I had to get it back, my dad makes minimum wage. Shit, Der, my dad. I guess I have more letters to write._

Derek slams the letter on the table next to the chair he’s in and stands up before pacing the room. Where the fuck was Stiles? Was this some sort of joke? Why would Stiles prank him on his birthday? On fucking Christmas? Derek took out his phone again and pulled up the Sheriff’s number. He’s about to press to call, but stops himself. If John received the letter he would have called, and if he hasn’t read it, can Derek really keep him from it until he’s finished reading his?

Derek steels himself and goes back to his chair. He picks up the letter and begins again.

 

> _First, I need to say, that I love you, Der. It’s important that I say that._

There’s a tear stain specifically on that line.

 

> _And that you mean the world to me. If things were different, if they turned out differently. Actually, I can’t live in tomorrow, I have to live in now. Things “are” different, they have turned out differently, but I’ll always love you. That’s constant, that never changes. Please understand that as you read this okay?_
> 
> _I love you._

The confession nearly floors Derek. They’ve danced around this; waltzed with proclaiming their “like” for each other, mambo’ed with respect, fox trotted over mutual attraction. And here’s Stiles, putting it out there plainly and boldly, just like he is.

 

> _The location spell showed me where I’d sent the book, it looked to be an alternate reality, which, can we just take a moment to geek out over how awesome that is?! There are alternate timelines and sometimes the time is faster and sometimes it’s slower, but it’s us and our friends and loved ones co-existing with other stories and lives and parallel adventures. It’s pretty excellent to think about._
> 
> _Though not every story is happy._
> 
> _We’re happy aren’t we? I lost my mom, and that kills me sometimes, but overall I still have my dad who is strong and healthy. I have Scott and Melissa and things are good. Your entire family is alive and well, your Uncle Peter is an outstanding citizen and running for city council and you’re going to be alpha over the entire pack since Laura decided to default it to you._
> 
> _You know all this already, but I need to reiterate it so you really understand what’s happening here._

The word “ _here_ ” catches Derek’s eye and doesn’t let go. He distantly hears a whimper fall from his mouth. Where is “ _here_ ”? Is Stiles still... “ _there_ ”?

 

> _I bet you’re wondering where “here” is, aren’t you? You’re always so predictable, but in a reassuring and dependable way. It’s one of the things I love most about you. You’re a rock when I needed steadying._
> 
> _I’m still in California, dreaming of what used to be. Still in Beacon Hills, but this is different. Here they hunt weres, Derek. They’re scared of them and think they’re a threat and a danger. I don’t seem to exist here. Scott does, but he’s human, he just seems like he’s completely detached. He’s still Scott so he’s a giant puppy, but he manages a local grocery store and he’s married to Lydia and they have three kids. How crazy is that? And Lydia isn’t a banshee, or maybe she just doesn’t know it yet? I’m still working out the details on that._

Their Lydia was an accomplished banshee and often worked with local law enforcement to locate abandoned bodies. Gruesome work, but important to Lydia so she persevered. She was strong, vibrant and cunning; she and Stiles were best friends and Derek respected and adored her.

 

> _She’s a snarly thing, and kind of bitchy and when I first got here she didn’t trust me at all. Of course I’m in love with her. :)_

Here lies the lone smiley face in the letter.

 

> _So there’s a family here called the Argents and they have a code, umm… got it:_
> 
> _We hunt those who hunt us_
> 
> _Pretty bleak, huh? The thing is that they used to be reactive in these measures, but soon they became proactive, seeking out dens they could exterminate before they could become a threat._
> 
> _About 12 years ago the oldest girl of the family - Kate Argent - met a young boy by the name of Derek Hale._

Derek’s hand began to tremble as he forced himself to continue on.

 

> _She seduced him, coaxed secrets out of him through his youth and ignorance, and used that information to burn down his house… with his entire family inside._
> 
> _Derek, I’m so sorry, babe. And I wish I could say that’s as bad as it got, but it’s not. Not by far._

Derek’s tears layered over Stiles’ over the paper and his hand passed trembling as his body full on shook. His entire family was dead in another dimension? Because of him? What the fuck? Where was this going?

 

> _Derek… you survived, along with Laura, and Peter somehow survived. He was in a coma for a while, but he woke up and he was crazy and mad with power. Laura was the alpha, alphas work a bit different here. You’re not born alpha, beta or omega. With werewolves, you’re naturally betas and then the alpha is either passed down or taken._
> 
> _Taken. It’s not civil and it’s not clean, there’s little to no respect. You have to murder the alpha in order to gain their powers. Peter.. he was jealous of Laura, wanted what she had, you know? He lured her back to BH (she’d taken you to New York with her evidently) and killed her, becoming the alpha._
> 
> _You -my love- well, not “you”, but “here” you, came back to town to search for her body. Along the way you encountered Peter who tried to manipulate you. You killed him. It was self defense, he wanted all traces of the Hales gone so he could rebuild, he was truly mad. But you killed him and you became the alpha. The only problem is you became the alpha to nothing. No more Hales, no pack, you nearly became a feral omega. At least that’s the state you were in when I found you._

Derek receives a text from Scott letting him know that everyone was assembled at the cabin and asking when he’d be there. He replies to give him another half hour. Scott comes back telling him that most of the pack have letters from Stiles.

He tells them not to open any of them until he gets there; and to tell Melissa and John the same. Scott replies in the affirmative as Derek gets back to his letter.

 

> _I said something earlier about this, but the timelines are different. What that means is that a day here is equal to about a few weeks there. I don’t have it down to an exact science, but I saw a sort of apparition of Derek that first day, and then I figured out a way to go. I left on Sunday night, and when I arrived back Monday afternoon, I found I’d been there for three weeks. Three weeks, Derek! Not a long time in the grand scheme of things, but enough to help “there” Derek back up on his feet. Enough to guide him away from self destruction._
> 
> _He pushed a lot the first week. Didn’t trust me, threatened to rip my throat out with his teeth._

Derek bristles slightly, he didn’t like the thought of someone threatening Stiles in that way.

 

> _Then we got into this thing with a creature called the “kanima”? Something vague about it taking on the shape of its soul? I’m still learning about it, but what I can tell you is that it’s a giant pain in the ass. Also, it’s tail stings you and the venom causes permanent paralysis. Evidently the kanima used to be someone called Jackson Whittemore, and Derek tried to turn him into a werewolf, but instead he became this thing._
> 
> _There was a night, where he attacked Derek and he fell into a pool. I held him up, Derek. For hours I held him up and treaded water as the kanima stalked the perimeter. I think that’s when he started to melt a bit -Derek, not the kanima, that fucker has no soul- I think that’s when he finally decided to try letting me in._
> 
> _Anyhow, I helped Derek and he allowed me to explain what I knew about pack dynamics. We found some candidates that I think might tickle you; Boyd, Erica and Isaac! It’s strange though,their bizarro versions -fuck, bizarro! How was I not using that this whole time?! Anyhow, their bizarro versions are really dramatic and sad._
> 
> _Boyd is a loner, strong and stolid, utterly alone. His mother works and his father drinks, not abusively but mostly to the point of apathy. His little sister died years ago and he blames himself since she fell through a hole in the lake when he took her ice skating._
> 
> _Isaac’s mother is dead, and his father is a drinker to the point of abuse. You pulled him from that as soon as you found out. Also he had an older brother who died in combat._
> 
> _Erica is epileptic. Her dad is an old wives tale and her mother leaves for months at a time leaving Erica to fend for herself._
> 
> _They all need bizarro Derek; he understands their pain and guilt and depression. He also understands mine. I haven’t talked to a lot of people there about my mom, Derek. About how… how I feel like her dying was my fault. How I wished she would die and just get it over with. Just get better or die, and one day I wished so hard and the next day she was gone._
> 
> _I’ve never talked about that, but here I don’t have to, they just see me and they get it. We fill in the holes for each other. We give each other the love none of us had. I know you love me, Derek, but I never would have felt like I deserved it._
> 
> _You deserve someone who feels like they deserve it._

Fuck. Fuck… _this._ Stiles can’t do this, he can’t decide- he _can’t_. Derek pulls out his phone and hits 5 on his speed dial.

“Alpha Hale.” says the cautious voice on the other end of the line.

“Where is he, Deaton? And how do we get him back?” Derek seethes into his phone. He hears the emissary let out a long sigh before answering.

“It appears that Mr. Stilinski is a stellar student in both normal and paranormal arts.”

“What the fuck does that mean, Alan!?” Derek yells at his phone.

“It means, Alpha Hale,” Deaton starts, leaving just enough time for Derek to humble himself, “that Stiles has perfected the transport spell and also a spell that essentially erases his steps. He’s in complete control of his movements. I suggest you finish reading your letter. I finished mine this morning, and I’m sure if ours are anything alike, Stiles will be very thorough in letting you know what’s going on.”

Derek disconnects without saying goodbye and goes back to the letter. It’s several pages front and back and he considers briefly skimming it, but he can’t bring himself to. Stiles went to the trouble of writing him this missive, he should give him the respect of reading it in its entirety.

 

> _I came back here on a Monday, and by Wednesday, over three months had passed. And I fell in love._
> 
> _So I guess when I say, Hello. I’m really saying:_
> 
> _Hello from the other side._
> 
> _I wanted to call you a thousand times, Derek. I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let the Derek here -bizarro Derek- feel any guilt for drawing me away from my old life._

His _old life_?! _Old…_ Stiles, no.

 

> _You wanted me, and you would have loved me and cherished me, but bizarro Derek - uggh, this is too serious to call him that, just alt!Derek? Yeah, that’s better- alt!Derek, he “needs” me. I need that and I’m sure it’s selfish and co-dependent and selfish again, but I need that. I need someone to need me. You love me, but you don’t need me, Derek. You have the world in the palm of your hand. My Derek -yeah, that’s the most apropos, huh?- he also has the world in his hand, but it’s ashes. I’m helping him to clean that up._
> 
> _I’m sorry if this hurts, I hope it doesn’t, I sincerely do. I hope you can be happy for me. He flatters me, tells me I’m beautiful. He has a million synonyms just for the color of my eyes. Your kaleidoscopic eyes have always intrigued me, but he akins mine to the sky of the setting autumn sun and I can tell he means it with every fiber of his being._
> 
> _When he kisses me, I feel like I’m floating. When we make love -is that too much? Maybe that’s too much. But just know, that you were my rock, and you were solid and strong and wonderful, but he’s like… my anchor. He allows me to float and be free, but he tethers me to him, to his love, so when I do fall I can always drag my way back to him._
> 
> _It’s not better than you, that’s not the point, but it’s necessary. I need that, Derek. Please understand that I need that._
> 
> _You’d like him._

Derek’s phone rings and he sees it’s the sheriff. He picks it up timidly and clears his throat.

“Hello, John.”

“Hello, _Alpha_ Hale.” The sheriff says with the bite of a man who is about to be broken. “Do you know what I’m doing right now?”

Derek narrows his eyes and shakes his head knowing that although the man can’t see him, the question was rhetorical.

“I’m standing in my kitchen looking at a package from my kid. It’s a textbook with a letter on top. Then I get a call from Scott telling me I can’t even open the damned thing until you tell me too and when I call Melissa, it turns out she’s received a letter too with the same instructions. So perhaps you wanna tell me what the hell is going on and where Stiles is?”

Derek breathes heavily into the phone, tries to regain his composure, hoping that the sheriff can’t hear his tears.

“ _Ahem_ , John, I’m looking into the situation right now. Please pick up Melissa and head to the cabin. I’ll be there shortly, okay?”

“Derek, I don’t like this. Not one bit, son. What is going-”

“Sheriff, please!” Derek yelps out, his cracked voice betraying his calm demeanor. The sheriff goes quiet, but Derek can imagine he’s nodding.

“Alright, Alpha Hale. I’ll see you at the cabin.”

Derek disconnects and goes back to the letter.

 

> _I went back to your world briefly to tinker with the spells a bit and to grab some things. I realized in my haste I forgot the damned book. I’ll drop it off when I deliver these letters, it’s pretty mint so hopefully dad can get a full refund on it, fucking $400._
> 
> _I’m stalling, I know, but this is so hard. I hope you understand how hard it is, but I hope you also realize that if I believe this is worth it? Leaving everything and everyone I know and love behind to build up from nothing like this? That I’m serious, and that it is worth it._
> 
> _I came back here and the next four days translated into close to six months. In that time we rebuilt the Hale house only to have it razed by a so called Alpha Pack. It was pretty gruesome. Despite being a were, Erica was permanently injured and Boyd almost died. Boyd cares for her now, their love is impenetrable, even when Erica gets moody._
> 
> _I’ve become fast friends with Scott here, I guess some things never change. Lydia is warming up to me though she’s still rightfully suspicious. My dad and Melissa are tiptoeing around each other which is funny and cute to watch. I wish they’d just kiss already._
> 
> _I’m… I’m staying here._

Derek is sitting in his car outside of his house. He was way overdue to go to the cabin, his phone was blowing up with texts and phone calls, but he couldn’t answer. Not until he was done.

 

> _I’ll be back periodically to check in on dad and Scott... and you, if that’s alright. But I can’t bring him there, he can’t know about this life and undo all the good he’s done here. I won’t let him pity himself for the things he never got, I’ll only let him celebrate what he has. So I’m afraid you won’t see me that often._
> 
> _But that’s okay because you’ll be okay. This won’t tear you apart, I’m sure it won’t. You’ll find love, you’ll find a guy or girl who can give you want you want, who can rule beside you and love you the way you deserve. You’ll go and see the world… here there seems to be no world, so if anything promise me you’ll go and see yours._
> 
> _You’ll be okay, this won’t break you, I’m sure I’m being self centered or egocentric in even thinking that it would. Not that what we had or could have potentially had wasn’t special, but… it wasn’t epic. My Derek and I, here? We’re epic._
> 
> _Find the person you can be epic with, and remember me fondly, please._
> 
> _Be happy. Be blessed. Be loved._
> 
> _I love you, take care._
> 
> _Stiles Stilinski-Hale_

Derek grimaces at the letter, hot, enraged tears streaming down his cheeks, dotting his shirt like bullet wounds. They pierce him and sting just like arrows tipped with wolfsbane. Arrows like the kind that Stiles had evidently encountered.

There were accompanying pieces of paper, some seemed to be countless drafts of the same letter with varying details of the things Stiles had experienced and the dangers he seemingly embarked on. Dangers the like of which Derek has never imagined, much less seen. There are rambles, Stiles’ normal outlining, lots of _what-ifs_.

What if he could bring Derek back and Derek could show alt!Derek how to lead, but the circumstances are too different and he wants his Derek to be confident enough to stand on his own two feet. He’s scratched that out, but Derek can still read it and he sighs heavily as he turns the key in the ignition and makes his way to the cabin.

On the way there he texts Scott to let everyone know to open their letters and begin reading. As he drives through the paved road towards his destination he thinks that maybe he’s hurt now, but he’ll get over it. Then he thinks of a Derek who will be forever unable to, and wonders if they are one in the same.

He thinks back to the rambling fragments on one of the pieces of paper.

 

> _It’s a different set of circumstances and variables._
> 
> _I always felt like I was born in the wrong period, maybe it was the wrong universe afterall?_
> 
> _I cherish every moment with him, but my Derek_
> 
> _cons: imminent and painful death is a distinct possibility, he’s moody as fuck, insecure as hell_
> 
> _pros: loves me, needs me, understands me. Fuck._

Derek huffs to himself when he sees that Stiles has made the u in “fuck” into a little heart. He schools his expression, and gets out of the car, walking slowly, but soundly to the front door. He opens it and is met with the stares and glares of his pack. He inhales and nods, before coming in and taking his seat.

“As you can see, we have a lot to talk about.”

 


	2. At Least I Can Say That I Tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek lets go.

**

* * *

_**(At Least I Can Say That I Tried)** _

 

Of course he looked in on him.

Derek left the cabin almost as quickly as he came. The pack was in shock, some staring off into space trying to understand and some crying softly as though having encountered a great loss.

They had.

Derek watched as the Sheriff sat broken in his chair, reading parts of the letter he received out loud. The parts with instructions to the others for how to care for him while Stiles was away.

“ _If you don’t move in with Melissa, I want you to go to the pack house and live with Derek._ ” John looks up at Derek with glistening eyes. “You know that’s not necessary, son. I know Stiles was very involved, but I can take care- I can take-”

“John,” Derek graciously interrupted, feeling a stray strand of pleasure that the sheriff still called him son. He’d known of Derek’s plans to propose and was looking forward to having him in his family. Derek was glad to have the sheriff still close; any part of Stiles still close..

“It’s okay. You know you’re always welcome and I can help with the move. But the last thing we need is Stiles barreling back in here all helter skelter about why his dad is living alone subsisting on _Hungry Man_ meals.”

It was meant to be light, to be a joke, but it ended up removing the cog that stabilized the dam of their feelings. The tears and yells gushed out until it suffocated the cabin.

Derek watched the emotional disaster in front of him and stood up quickly.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be back, but I have to go.”

Scott looked up incredulously at his alpha.

“Derek… Alpha! What the fuck? Where could you possibly have to-”

“I have to find Deaton” The room stilled slightly as the others clamped down and nodded. “Boyd, you’re in charge while I’m gone. Please make a master list of all the guidelines Stiles set out and we’ll…” Derek trailed off as the pack watched him in anticipation. They looked for guidance and direction not understand that Derek was probably the most lost of all.

“We’ll…, we’ll figure it out when I get back.” He tried to leave the question mark out of his voice as he walked slowly to the door. He went to his car and and headed towards the bungalow where Deaton resided.

He was… not kind to his emissary, but Deaton seemed to understand and be able to interpret Derek’s desires amidst the anger and hurt.

“Alpha Hale, I can’t say how sorry I am about the loss you’ve experienced. I can feel the pain, Mr. Stilinski was by far my brightest talent and I’d hoped he might even take over my position someday. But even the best laid plans can be derailed, don’t you agree?” Deaton said to him while labeling some herbs. Derek looked at him, arms crossed over his chest menacingly as he glared at the man.

“Deaton, _fuck_ all of that philosophical bullshit and tell me how to get him back.”

“I can’t do that, Alpha Hale.”

“Stop calling me that and just fucking do it!”

“Derek, calm down and breathe.”

“Tell me where he is.”

“It would behove you to regain control of your senses. Please, I want to help, but I will not-” Deaton is cut off by Derek sweeping all of his glass vials onto the floor and grabbing the man roughly by his lapels. He roared in the man’s face, his eyes glowing a bright alpha red. Deaton merely grinned.

“Look at you, very impressive display of anger, Derek.” Derek huffs in the doctor’s face and shifts back to human from his beta phase. “Now put me down. We both know that within these walls, I’m the one with the strength and I don’t want to use it against you.”

Derek did know, and dropped Deaton. He sat down and looked up at the man that advised his mother and Laura and would now be advising him.

“Alan, please. Please, I need him back.” Derek pleaded. Deaton looked at Derek, long and lingering… assessing.

“Derek, I normally address you as _Alpha Hale_ because professional courtesy dictates that I do. But I’ve known you since you were a wee cub and I’ve seen you grow into the man you are today.” Deaton walked to a supply closet and pulled out a broom, handing it over to Derek. Derek took it sheepishly and began sweeping up the mess he made. “Still, I feel that your experiences should be organic, you should be allowed to make your mistakes and have them shape you until you reach your ultimate definition.”

“Alan, I don’t underst-”

“Shut up, Derek.” Deaton said to him with familial kindness. Derek nodded and continued sweeping. .

“I can say _shut up, Derek_ to you, Alpha Hale, because despite the more bureaucratic leanings of our relationship, I still love you very much. I never had cubs and I always considered you and your siblings to be family.

“You are, Deaton.”

“Sometimes, and sometimes I’m just the Hale Emissary, and that’s okay. But in times like these I so desperately want to be Uncle Alan again, like you called me up until you were 7, and not Deaton, your emissary.”

Derek looked up finally at the doctor and understands that he’s really just as hurt as they all are, but that Derek’s own broken heart is an additional factor. Deaton was pissed at Stiles on Derek’s behalf, and that warmed Derek, not only because of the feeling, but also Deaton being pissed meant that Derek didn’t have to be. He couldn’t afford it anyhow.

“Thank you, Alan.” Derek answered as he emptied the mess into the trashcan. He put the broom away and turned back to the doctor. “But what does that mean, exactly? What can we do to get him back?”

Deaton exhaled and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He mumbled something under his breath about _so one-track minded_ before he looked back up at Derek.

“I mentioned your anger earlier, but you didn’t seem too concerned with it. It’s not often that you display bouts with that kind of lack of control.”

“I’ve gotten angry before, though I do apologize, I was out of-”

“Derek, how many times have you gotten _that_ angry?”

Derek thought back and couldn’t really pinpoint a time he’d been so frustrated he wolfed out. Especially not to someone that he loved. Derek simply shook his head and shrugged.

“Now imagine, Derek. _Living_ with that type of anger on a daily basis. Having it be the baseline for everything in your bleak life, your shattered existence. Imagine coming to rely on that anger to anchor you, feeding off that anger just to push you futilely into the next day.”

Derek tried to imagine it, but couldn’t. He couldn’t piece together the puzzle Alan laid before him. He would never display that type of anger with Stiles. He couldn’t imagine a scenario where there’d be a need. “I.. I would never, I don’t have a reason- Alan, what? What does this have to do with anything? What does this have to do with getting Stiles back?”

“Stiles isn’t coming back, Alpha Hale.”

“What? What the fuck, Alan? Why did you just-”

“Stiles has provided his Derek-” Derek visibly cringed when he hears it come from Deaton’s mouth, “with options he never even understood were accessible and possible for him. Because of Stiles he’s experienced love and confidence and is growing his pack and protecting his city from unparalleled constant threat.”

Deaton walked towards Derek and cupped his jaw in his hand. His beard was slick and wet from his tears. Deaton pulled a handkerchief from nowhere and dabbed at Derek’s cheeks like he used to do when Derek was a child and scraped his knee. That was the apex of his pain up until the moment Derek received that letter.

“Stiles isn’t coming back, Derek. And if you force him, he’ll resent you for the rest of time. He’s happy where he is, he’s useful and he’s staying.”

Derek nodded and took the handkerchief, blowing his nose into it before tucking it into his pocket. He’d launder it and bring it back.

“What did your letter say?” Derek asked, not really expecting an answer. Deaton surprisingly gave him one.

“Most of the details were for how to care for the magic items he left. But there was a very special section that I think is relevant. It’s how to care for you.”

Derek couldn’t help but grin at that. Stiles loved him and knew that Derek loved him back, but he was needed in a place that needed to remember what love even was, and Stiles was always about duty to the greater good.

“I… I won’t try to get him back, but I- I want to see him.” Derek implored to Deaton with glistening eyes. Deaton smiled a small smile, and nodded.

“I think I can arrange that, Alpha Hale. Come see me in three days.”

***

In three days, Derek returned and found that Deaton fashioned a small looking glass for him. He could see what Stiles was doing and how he fared in the alternate reality.

Everything seemed to be sped up to account for the time difference, but other parts were suddenly slowed. In the three days that Deaton used to fashion the glass -true to Stiles’ word- several weeks passed in his timeline. When Derek looked the first time he noticed that Stiles seemed slightly older and more settled. He was growing his hair out and bulking up from all the activity. He saw as Stiles studied his emissary training and used his magic to fight off beasts he’d only heard about in stories as a small boy. Derek couldn’t be more proud.

He saw Stiles and Scott grow close as Stiles became the defacto uncle and godfather to Scott’s children. He saw Lydia and Stiles pair up as Stiles coaxed out her banshee and worked with her to hone her new powers. He saw him organize Boyd, Erica and Isaac and shape them into strong betas, even helping Erica manage with her disability. He saw the pack thrive and grow under Stiles.

Under Stiles and Derek… _his_ Derek.

At first, Derek avoided watching Stiles with Derek, but one day after a fight with the villain of the week, he watched Stiles and Derek fall into each other’s arms kissing furiously. Derek had never encountered that sort of desperate passion and he watched as au!Derek took Stiles back to their home and Stiles willing accepted all of Derek’s frustration and aggression. It was the aftermath that really killed Derek. The sweet caresses and kisses. The reassurances, au!Derek confessing his insecurities and Stiles assuring him that he did the right thing.

Dammit, Derek did like Stiles’ Derek. And he could see how much he needed their Stiles.

***

A year passes quickly. During the first few months, Derek watched the looking glass incessantly. But after a while he had to finally attend to pack business and secure the borders of the expanded Hale land. He’d check in weekly and then biweekly to see how things were going and then it soon turned to monthly. He didn’t let the pack know what he was doing, just held them together as they got over the initial shock of Stiles’ loss and then tried to resume a semblance of their lives without him.

One day he’s raking leaves, tending to the cabin and he feels the buzz and hum of magic, before hearing the familiar heartbeat. He doesn’t turn around right away, he allows himself a moment to luxuriate in the sensation of the past before the sadness encroaches upon him.

“Hey, Derek.” A voice says behind him before timidly coming to a stop. Derek can hear his heart beating overtime, and he’s sure his own heart is fighting to catch up. He turns around slowly and considers the boy.. no, young man in front of him.

He’s taller now. His hair is grown out, long on top, short in the back. He’s got broad shoulders that stretch the shirt he’s wearing over his defined chest. It hangs a bit, indicating a flat tummy and slim waist. Derek knew he’d grow into this, he looked forward to it for years.

He had a beard, short, but surprisingly filled in. He could see Stiles’ moles through the beard and noticed a new one just under his eye. His sparkling brown eyes. What had au!Derek called them a few months back? _Gilded topaz_. For such a tortured soul, au!Derek had a captivating way with words. Derek loved and hated it in equal amounts.

The sparkle in Stiles’ eyes would never change, but some things were different. Stiles had a cane with him. Derek saw when it happened, when La Bete du Gevaudan gashed its claw into Stiles’ thigh, taking a chunk of it with him. He was enraged and wanted to run to Deaton, Stiles’ feelings be damned and force him transport Derek there. But then he saw the stricken look on au!Derek’s face, and how au!Derek did everything in his power to put aside his guilt and care so delicately and lovingly for Stiles. Derek was hosting a symposium fostering domestic pack relations at the time; he could harass Deaton, or he could respect Stiles’ wishes and go to that.

When he returned he saw that au!Derek fashioned the cane and Stiles set out carving runes and protection spells into it. The magic made au!Derek sneeze, but he stayed by Stiles’ side every step of the way.

“Hello, Stiles.” Derek says cautiously, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance. He quickly folds, “How- how are… _fuck_!” He yells before grabbing Stiles into his arms and hugging him roughly, snuffling into his neck. He can hear Stiles chuckling as he wraps his arms around Derek’s back, patting him gently.

“Now that’s what I call a hello! How are you, Alpha?” Derek sets Stiles down and smiles brightly at the young man. His cheeks turn a rosy hue.

“Please, don’t call me that, it’s… it’s okay. things are- fucking miserable without you, but okay.” Derek says quickly. He doesn’t want to lie, but he also doesn’t want to guilt Stiles. Stiles stills a bit, but takes it in stride.

“A little bit more time has passed than I anticipated, but we kept getting bogged down with things back home. Between the enemies and my injury and the kids-”

“Kids?” Derek asks, scrunching his eyebrows. He remembers seeing kids in the looking glass, but always assumed that Scott and Lydia added more to their brood. Stiles smiles widely.

“Yeah, twins, two gorgeous girls. Charlotte Johnna and Natalia Marie Hale..umm, Derek’s dad was named Nathan and of course, Talia…” Stiles trails off clearly wondering if he’s said too much. “Umm, well shit, I might as well go for broke. Do you want to see pictures?”

Evidently Derek nods because the next thing he knows Stiles is taking out his wallet and showing Derek two precious little angels about five years old. One girl has dark brown hair, Stiles’ upturned nose dotted with freckles, and jade green eyes. The other little girl has Hale branded raven black hair, but brown sparkling eyes and adorable rosy cheeks.

“That’s Char,” Stiles says, pointing to the brown haired beauty, “and that’s Nat.” he indicates the ravishing raven haired. Derek looks at the pictures with awe and wonder. They’re both sitting on swings and laughing, probably at their silly daddy who is making them smile for pictures.

“They’re… yours? You birthed them, but how?” Derek asks, completely flummoxed by the indescribable love he feels for these girls. That he still feels for Stiles. Stiles scratches at the back of his neck.

“I’ve become quite the mage, and the magic in Beacon Hills is pretty fucking astounding. So yeah, I was able to conjure a temporary womb- man, that sounds weird.”

“You could conjure up a womb, but you couldn’t fix-” Derek indicates towards Stiles’ leg and then regrets even being alive in that moment. There’s a moment of hurt on Stiles’ face, followed by a quick flash of anger and capped with a determined schooling of his features.

“A creature removed a literal chunk from my leg, Derek. I can’t regrow flesh, I’m not a mad scientist.” Stiles explains as Derek nods hurriedly.

“I’m sorry, Stiles. I’m so sorry, that was uncalled for, I’m just.. I’m so excited that you’re here, but I know you have to leave again and I’m just- fuck, do you know what your leaving did? What it did to us?!”

“It hurt you, I know.” Derek looks up at Stiles, not bothering to stop the tears that stream down his face as he takes in Stiles’ palid expression. “But you’re still here, aren’t you? You’re growing and thriving and I know I hurt you, but I didn’t break you. I wouldn’t have left if I thought it would break you.”

“Where are you now?” Derek asks softly.

“What?”

“You’re here now, and the longer you’re here the more time passes in your world. It’s been a year here and you have five year olds. The time thing is crazy.”

“It’s definitely a pain in the ass.” Stiles says with a huff, finally understanding Derek’s question. “Umm.. I kind of made up a Pacific Northwest Association of Mages conference?”

Derek laughs. It feels foreign, but it’s genuine and real for the first time in a long time.

“Three weeks of talking magicks with little interaction to the outside world. I have an alert system if something goes crazy and I need to go back, but otherwise it’s under control.”

Derek nods again and tries desperately to think of something to fill in the silence. He wants to talk to Stiles to hear him tell stories of his life, but he knows his time is limited, but he wants just a little bit more. He opens his mouth to speak, but Stiles beats him to it.

“So I have to get going soon. Still gotta see Scott and my dad.”

“Scott’s at the clinic, he runs it fulltime now. And your dad is living in one of the pack houses with Melissa -I’ll get you the address. He stayed with me a few months after you left and then they moved in once the developments were done.”

“Developments?”

“Yeah, a housing project for traveling packs and pack members. It’s a pretty good system, Lydia and Isaac are mostly in charge.”

Stiles smiles grandly.

“And you, have you been traveling? Have you seen the world?”

 _You were my world_. Is the startling thought that rushes into Derek’s head. He shakes it out.

“Not really, just locally to secure our borders. Only about a year has passed and it’s been busy. I’m not really interested in-” Derek stops when he feels a warm hand on his forearm. He hadn’t noticed that his arms were folded defensively over his chest, as though caging his heart in so it wouldn’t fall out and break.

“Derek, travel. Please, Beacon Hills is a bottle where I’m from. It’s peaceful now, and we’re raising the kids so I’m not really on the front line anymore. But if we try to leave, some bullshit always comes in and ruins everything. See the world, for me at the very least. And maybe the next time I come back I’ll be an old man and I can look at the albums and live vicariously through you.”

“Stiles.”

“Derek, I know.” And Derek scoops Stiles back into his arms and holds him tight again rocking softly with his heart in his arms. Stiles draws back slightly, but doesn’t let go. He places his hand on the back of Derek’s neck and Derek can feel the cool steel of Stiles’ wedding band.

Stiles’ face goes blurry before a soft pout is pressed chastely to Derek’s lips.

“I love you, Alpha Derek Hale. That’s the constant. That never changes.” Stiles says as his clear, glimmering brown eyes come back into focus. Derek nods and lets go.

“I love you too, Emissary and Mage Stiles Hale.”

Stiles grins, turns and walks from Derek towards his Jeep. He gets inside without looking back and drives away. Derek pulls out his phone and dials his manager.

“I need to plan a global diplomatic tour to promote international alliance and synergy between our packs worldwide. Can you make that happen?” Derek hears an affirmative on the other line before disconnecting. Now he’d just have to have Kira teach him how to scrapbook.

He turns back towards the cabin, rake in hand, and continues.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, and it's not okay. I wrote the darn thing and I am NOT okay!
> 
>  _Teetering on the edges of being an old adolescent and a full fledged adult_ is from [a twitter post](https://twitter.com/Adele/status/656787881349009408) that Adele posted and it spoke to me. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated, come visit me on [Tumblr](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com). Thanks guys, be sure to subscribe the series.


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